She wore blue velvet

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I really hope that this doesn’t last long, because holy shit it just feels like me 5 months ago or me two years ago. I’m stuck in this fucking ditch where I’m convinced nothing will ever come of my life and I will never be satisfied or decisive and like what the fuck am I doing in school is this even the right thing for me and all this questioning shit. When miserable things happen like this and I can’t even text the one person who I want more than anyone I feel sort of like time slows down and I’m half paralyzed. I need stability in my life. I count on stability. I need good things to make me feel better because I’m still working on making myself feel good on its own. I’m not ready yet. It’s still a work in progress. That’s why I count on people. To help me along. And when I get slapped in the face with people letting go of me I lose myself along with it. I just love you. And I want to be with you. I want you to care enough to support me when I get crazy. Why is it that you’re good and we’re good when everything is going good, but when I get a little upset and I have a hard time you don’t care anymore and you don’t want to deal with it. Relationships aren’t always 100% good and happy. You can’t be in it for the good parts and ditch it when it gets hard. That’s fucking stupid. But I love you. Why would I stay with you if I didn’t love you? How dare you say something like that to me? This is us five months ago and shit, we did a lot of growing in those five months. And now it seems like you’ve forgotten all about that too. Fuck. Just because of one terrible night.  

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  1. acropoliss posted this